


I Am The Very Model Of A Dedicated Homestuck Fan

by FallacyFallacy



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Filk, Gen, Song Parody, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2012-09-22
Packaged: 2017-11-14 19:17:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallacyFallacy/pseuds/FallacyFallacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lyrics to a Homestuck version of the song 'Modern Major General' from Pirates of Penzance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am The Very Model Of A Dedicated Homestuck Fan

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I have sung this song, and yes, the meter/rhyming/etc should all work. Please don't ask for a demonstration, though. I could give one to you, but unless you like low-quality files of someone singing in an awkward monotone I don't think it'll be worth it!

I am the very model of a dedicated Homestuck fan  
I check for updates every day and every hour if I can  
The many myriad timelines and Chekhov's guns I do dissect  
But not a single one of my theories has ever been correct  
I worked my fingers to the bone sewing my cosplay outfit for  
The costume was made of someone who was first shown the day before  
I tell my friends about it at my every opportunity  
I either fail completely or create a new monstrosity

Deep down I wish I really could study ectobiology  
It's that or learn the finer points of nakkadile economy  
A well-timed scream of 'update' can destroy even an earnest plan  
I am the very model of a dedicated Homestuck fan

I shipped a million ships hoping one pairing would end up okay  
It didn't work, he still sank every single last one anyway  
New digital songs take the place of all the CDs on my shelves  
The strains of 'Doctor' are engraved inside my very ears themselves  
All dummies are dead to me now, they come across as horrifying  
But I can't look at all those scalemate plushies onscreen without sighing  
Invite my friends to movie night but at my choices they do stare  
'Cause all I chose was 'Little Monsters', 'Armageddon' and 'Con Air'.

If asked, I can recite every star sign perfectly in order  
But I rush to explain – it's not with astrology I concur  
Nobody ever understands my warnings 'bout those stairs, man  
I am the very model of a dedicated Homestuck fan

My English reading is 300 pages in a month, unfair  
But I can blaze through Homestuck in just three days and then I am there  
I know of all the memes, yes, you could say that I know all of them  
I slip them in while talking hoping someday I will meet a friend  
Vocabulary ruined, of all obscure words I am the king  
But I will always know it as the swingy flappy dealie thing  
Hour after hour I spend writing pesterlogs on end  
And then my friends complain my typing is too hard to CoMpRe)(8nD

My favourite character dies and everything is just going wrong  
But then an awesome flash reminds me why I've stayed true all along  
Don't try to say there's better, Homestuck's simply just more awesome than  
Whatever it is, 'cause I'm still a dedicated Homestuck fan!


End file.
